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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

mostly myself again

by Izzy Heltai

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1.
Bad Time 03:06
I was surprised When I felt like myself again Been a few months since I woke up and felt like this Then the day passed I got stoned off my ass again Feeling like shit I thought Maybe it’s time that I Called you back I don’t think that you like me All that much If you did I don’t think that you’d mind When I call at a bad time Your work life’s a mess And mine’s Got nothing going on I tend to think That I’d probably be better off Shutting my mouth sometimes And letting someone else talk Maybe you let me out To let myself hang to dry Cause sooner or later I’ll figure it out What you’re putting down You put me down I don’t think that you like me All that much If you did I don’t think that you’d mind When I call at a bad time Your work life’s a mess And mine’s Got nothing going on I don’t think that you like me All that much When you left You didn’t even say goodbye And I know it’s a bad time Your work lifes a mess And I’ve Got nothing going on No I’ve got nothing going on
2.
Fifteen 03:00
3.
25 03:34
4.
happy 02:52

about

I think a lot about age. Mostly, I think about how I almost never got to this age. There’s a not-so-distant parallel universe where I didn’t make it out of my teens alive. I think that’s something a lot of trans and queer people deal with — how fleeting time is, how much of a privilege it is, and how not to waste it. In my adulthood, finally being given the resources I need to feel comfortable in my own body and identity, I’ve become fixated on never wasting time. I work constantly, and I still never feel satisfied. Working hard is a wonderful thing, but this fixation makes me completely lose sight of why I want the things I want — what I’m working towards.
This EP is an exploration of presence. It’s about giving myself grace. It’s about patience. Most importantly, it’s about feeling the most myself I can, even in moments when that feels impossible.

credits

released October 20, 2023

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Izzy Heltai Nashville, Tennessee

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