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about

I moved back in with my mom about two months before I turned 25. I felt pretty defeated — I'd spent my entire adult life working at something that wasn’t really going anywhere. It felt like I was just beating my head against a wall over and over. I would always get into these conversations with my mom about how I thought maybe I was washed up, and too old for anything else to really happen. She would always tell me how ridiculous that was — ‘Izzy, you’re still young’, or, ‘Maybe you should just take a deep breath and be thankful - instead of resentful - about the things you’ve gotten to do already.’ I’m 27 now, and I still find myself feeling like this — that I’m never doing enough, or things are never moving fast enough. But I have so much time left, so why do I need it all to happen right now?

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from mostly myself again, released October 20, 2023

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Izzy Heltai Nashville, Tennessee

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